John and Susan Communicate

“John and Susan” were married for 34 years when they went to see a marriage counselor. Once there, the conversation went something like this. “Every day I come home from work I start dinner, or finish it, vacuum and then fold laundry for you. How could you not feel loved? I would love to have a wife who did things like this for me. ” “But I just want to talk to you about something other than ‘how did you sleep last night’. And besides, you said you liked to cook.” Their counselor (Gary Chapman of “The Five Love Languages”) helped them to see that John understood love through service, while Susan was looking for quality time. John never knew that what he really needed to do was to spend more focused time talking to her.(1) Good communication is glue for relationships, and it keeps your brain working too.

MESSAGES GIVE LIFE
Simply put, 60% of your brain is composed of fatty acids which form cell membranes. (2) Messages between protein molecules inside the cells pass to each other, and trust me, you want your brain cells to talk. What are they talking about? Well, not specifically about acts of service vs. quality time, but in order for John and Susan to have the capacity to talk, their brain cells were transmitting untold number of messages which enabled them to remember, hear and speak.

MESSANGERS
The protein molecules in the brain which send the messages are too large to pass through the cell membrane, so they depend on messengers imbedded in the membrane itself to attach to the target cells outside and transmit the intended messages…”You can let some of that potassium out now but we need more chloride and calcium so let them in.” (3)

TEXTURE AFFECTS COMMUNICATION
But the texture of the cell membrane affects how well the messengers can get their job done. Picture one messenger with stiff and painful joints while another runs like the wind. If you eat a lot of saturated animal fat, which is hard at room temperature, it causes these membranes to be more stiff, while if you eat a greater amount of polyunsaturated fats like omega-3, which are liquid at room temperature, then these cells membranes will be more fluid. A good balance between fluid and firm texture makes the cell communication most productive. (4)

There is so much more to say but time’s up, so next week I’ll finish with more details about what happens when we are deficient in the good polyunsaturated fats, and how we can get more of them in our diets.

BTW, if you haven’t read Chapman’s book yet, I would highly suggest it as a way to improve every relationship you have.

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